Me Tell about da Big Party by Josif

Me an’ Thalwee da ulf come back from we latest fights when we Uncle Bups asks we to lean on da bean in da whole ’nother town. If we is do dis, we is paid 12 hunert crowns. Da bean is name Perkin. Da problem is da bean is right close to dat 'nother town’s Arch.



Now Uncle Bups say what we do can make dat Arch powerful angry. So all dis has to be da secret.

Me an’ Thalwee is travel so far from Bolden we is not happy. After we is setting out on we ‘venture, Me an’ Thalwee comed across da gipsee hooman carvan which lets we sleep da night wif dem, right safe. Den me an’ Thalwee see three swordsmens wif right big sacks on da horses and dey is heavy too. An’ da swordsmens, dey is also sleep da night.

So Me an’ Thalwee says, “Screw Bups” an’ “Screw dis long walk” and “Screw dis make da Arch powerful angry.” So Me an’ Thalwee, we is ambuscade dem swordsmens wif a new friend we has made. We is to follow dem swordsmens until we feet hurts, den we fights – us and dem. After we is have a quick fights, wif some dat died on both sides, we friend is gone an’ one of dem swordsmens is gone. But dat one is gone wif we crowns of gold. So after we is looking in da countryside all night, Me an’ Thalwee is to try a city an’ a farm. Da city is called, Daymarch.

Den da Woodsman an’ da priest an’ da people is come. An’ da Woodsman he is come an’ find dat swordsmens who was gone. An' da Woodsman can see all we gold is from da dead ones. Den Me an’ Thalwee is tell many lies. Da Woodsman he not believe an’ he say we is to never come back right close to Daymarch. Thalwee say dats okay we never come again if we gets we gold.

We gets three bags of gold an’ we take no statues. Thalwee says da statues are no good for we and prolly bring da bad majik on we. Me an’ Thalwee is walk to Bolden. Den we is to pay Bups from the three bags an’ say dat da man Perkin from dat 'nother town pays we. Thalwee say we is lie to Uncle Bups an’ never, ever, never say da right way. Den we can have big, big party. Den Uncle Bups thinks we is go all da way to dat 'nother town an’ we is only go to Daymarch. Thalwee is smart.

Now we Uncle Bups is happy wif Me an’ Thalwee an’ we is to stay in town wif not having to travel so long. Now Uncle Bups takes da gold from we. Now Bups is happy uncle. Now Thalwee is happy ulf. Now me is happy ork. We has no gold wif us, but we is make more an’ Bups can help dat. So Me and Thalwee sleep an’ we has a big, big party wif beer. But da ulf like da wine most — not beer.